Again

Years changed over the calendars
But the day remained the same
Time slipped away like silk
But I could still feel the pain

How I wish I could sleep away
Through out the day
Like a day was deleted from time

I thought of it holding it well the next time
But I failed
I failed everytime
Heart is heavy and so are the eyes
Throbbing pain for which morphine hasn't been discovered

Its such a long day
I have to overcome in so many ways
I have to come out of it again
I hold it all together again
Just hoping it won't fall and spread over again

Again

Again

Again

It all happens again
I feel everything again
I feel pain again

Like being bad sometimes

Cherish the moments of watching enemy in pain
Feel elevated for the downfall of someone
Feel blissful when supposed to be drowned in regret
Thoughtful construction of sentences to put up your say

I like being bad sometimes
I love to turn away

Greed's magnitude amplified and uncontrolled
Sometimes it makes your way
Secretly watching naked sinful bodies
And then hide it away
Jealous for a moment from visible success
Finding it hard to keep up the right way...

A little devil resides inside of me
Wicked fully smiles
In moments of
"Not supposed to"
A little devil resides in everyone of us
No matter how much we deny

It is going to glued to us
Till we wave a goodbye

Contrast

Gulped liquids of beliefs.... and suddenly made to believe everything was a lie.....Shakes the soul from within.... kills ones identity

Thinking now and then
Who am I?
An ignorant or a victim

Somebody else I am
Afraid I am
Hesitant I am
Confused I am

At a time was sure of things which were in question

Now, questioning surety of everything

Wondering I am
Calm I am
Thinker I am
Learner I am

Growing in every moment
Every situation of life

A fighter I am
Something I will always believe

Lost

A loss was a realization....

Of immense happiness that i felt....

Of the moments that i actually lived...

Of the guilt for mistakes that i did

Loss brought me to new world

New reality...

New possibilities...

New constraints....

I have to learn to live without...

I have to accept the emptiness...

I have to take my eyes off the past and look ahead...

It’s difficult although.... 

but you continue anyways...

I m in love with a person who isn't real now...

I m in love with memories

I m in love with a time which has passed...

And this undefinable love gives a real strength 

but still so many gains cant ever be compared to what i have lost...

Little Moments

Little Moments of Madness
is all that I have

Little Moments of no Logic
is all that I have

A little loss of identity
is all that I have

A little forgetfulness
is all that I have

Synonyms for Suffering

My throats thirsty

Neck is narrowing to closure

My eyes have been eluded from reality

My heads heated up

My hands are hopeless when it comes to save me

My leg lingers

My heart feels hopeless all the time

My soul is synonym for suffering

Koshish

Koshishen ki kayin...
Par koshishon mein khaamiyan rahi....
Shayad koshishon ki wajah nahi...

Koshishon mein chah nahi...
Rahen mili aur bichad gayi...

Manzil khone ka afsos nahi...

Shayad kho jaane ka nasha hi kuch aur hai...
Ab iradon se pehchaan nahi....